Someone Died

nobackspacebutton · Post by **nobackspacebutton** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:40 am

Okay. About a year ago I met my boyfriends Dad.

It was that time that we met his Dad's girlfriend.

His dad got married to her about a month or two ago.

We've only seen her maybe 3 to 4 times, at most.

We have only talked to her on the phone maybe once or twice.

Her mom died on New Years.

Its not that I don't care when people die...but I'm completely emotionless to it because I don't know this person.

I barely know her, let alone knowing anyone in her family.

His dad told us that they knew her mom was going to die, because she had been sick a long time.

Everyone is giving me shit about this...like I'm supposed to break down crying? Meanwhile I'm just like, well...people die...at least she doesn't have to be sick anymore.

People die every week...every day...every minute...all people that we don't know. Are we supposed to cry for each one? Or is it just polite to pretend that we care?

AutoPilate · Post by **AutoPilate** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:41 am

Well, if it makes you feel better, I don't care either.

nobackspacebutton · Post by **nobackspacebutton** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:44 am

AutoPilate wrote:Well, if it makes you feel better, I don't care either.

You make me smile. ^_^

Beckers · Post by **Beckers** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:45 am

If you can not be upset about it then fine....if you weren't that close then it's only natural you wouldn't feel that "devestation" everyone else is feeling. Don't let the ppl who think you should be upset get to you. Instead help the people you DO care about and ARE worried about get through this difficult time.

nobackspacebutton · Post by **nobackspacebutton** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:49 am

Beckers wrote:If you can not be upset about it then fine....if you weren't that close then it's only natural you wouldn't feel that "devestation" everyone else is feeling. Don't let the ppl who think you should be upset get to you. Instead help the people you DO care about and ARE worried about get through this difficult time.

But the thing is, my boyfriend doesn't even know her. We know her just the same.

And his brother too. Maybe his brother has seen her two - three times more than we have.

And they are just like wtf is your attitude?

roxybebito · Post by **roxybebito** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:52 am

dude, you sound just like my best friend! if you cried for everyone dead, then what time would you have to do anything else?

Beckers · Post by **Beckers** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:53 am

why must people expect others to fall apart at the drop of a hat. Just take some space for yourself until things cool down I guess.

AutoPilate · Post by **AutoPilate** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:55 am

Take up knitting. =)

nobackspacebutton · Post by **nobackspacebutton** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:56 am

AutoPilate wrote:Take up knitting. =)

I can crochet. =P

Kasdeja · Post by **Kasdeja** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 10:46 am

I don't cry when people die, even those close to me. That's not to say I haven't been extremely saddened when someone close dies, but for some reason I don't cry. I don't feel bad about it. I just support those around me who can't cope as well. I certainly don't think less of someone because they handle death differently than I do, though. You don't cry. They cry. Whatever, everyone deals differently.

betz28 · Post by **betz28** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 5:24 pm

AutoPilate wrote:Well, if it makes you feel better, I don't care either.

k, that was funny

MrsCop · Post by **MrsCop** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 5:33 pm

nobackspacebutton wrote:Everyone is giving me shit about this...like I'm supposed to break down crying? Meanwhile I'm just like, well...people die...at least she doesn't have to be sick anymore.

People die every week...every day...every minute...all people that we don't know. Are we supposed to cry for each one? Or is it just polite to pretend that we care?

I hate it when people do that. It's almost like they would rather have you cry & fake it than not at all.

lonelyelendi · Post by **lonelyelendi** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 6:17 pm

I have had a lot of my relatives die when I was very young, subsequently, I don't have the same reaction to death. I don't break down and cry, I give my respects in silence and move on...it is not that I don't care, it is just that I don't see why it is such a big deal...to me it is like makin a big fuss when someone pees....everyone pees, and you want to be special cause you pee? I know I am very cynical about death, but don't give me a hard time....losing both my grandfathers, two uncles, an aunt and a cousin all before you are seven tends to f**k you up a little.

MrsCop · Post by **MrsCop** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 6:19 pm

awww Kenny, you aren't f'd up, you're umm seasoned! that's it

breewithcrackers · Post by **breewithcrackers** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 6:22 pm

i think sending a card would be a nice gesture, but beyond that I don't think it's necessary to make a big deal over it or even care about it. it doesn't make you a bad person.

just saying somehting like "you're in our thoughts" or whatever on a card is fine. and that way it might get people off your back.

how you cope with a death is no one's business but your own. people have no right to harass you over something like that. a simple "I don't criticize how you face tragedy so please don't criticize how I face tragedy" is a good, polite, "f**k off" too and it will put people in their place for sure.

Lonelygirl15

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Someone Died

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