Someone Died

angie78gg · Post by **angie78gg** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 10:24 pm

So, here's the thing. My husbands grandpa, died a few months ago. I wasnt close to him. Therefore I didnt cry for the loss. Not being rude, but Unless you have touched my life in some cosmic way. I usually dont cry. Theres nothing wrong with it, you dont know her theres no need to grieve. Yes, the whole I am sorry for your loss thing is nice and all. No one should try to make you feel bad. Then again, everyone deals with death differently. Some ppl become angry and want everyone around them to hurt as well. I will put it this way....Last year I had a friend who commited suicide. Greatest guy I have ever known. I did cry for that, because he honestly was my soul mate. Not in the married sense, but as a friend..He was the closest to love that you can have for a friend. Without going overboard. So, I would say...no you have every right to feel the way you do.

nobackspacebutton · Post by **nobackspacebutton** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 8:47 am

Thanks for your responses everyone.

It was just nuts because they think I'm being cold or something.

It'd be like one of you coming on and saying "man, my bestfriend's mom died"

And me saying "oh man...sorry."

and then your response being like "your so apathetic!!!!!!!!!"

LesterG · Post by **LesterG** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:16 am

BA

this is what you do in those situations

It's understandable to feel more apathetic if you have to see a person that's close to that person looking all miserable and depressed...

but in your case, like you said, you don't know nor did your bf so there's no connection other then what's associated....

during this fragile period however, you don't have to show much really... just say in your most apathetic voice "at least they're in a better place"...

sounds alot better then "oh, ok thanks for the info" :p

worked for me

nobackspacebutton · Post by **nobackspacebutton** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:27 am

LesterG wrote:BA

this is what you do in those situations

It's understandable to feel more apathetic if you have to see a person that's close to that person looking all miserable and depressed...

but in your case, like you said, you don't know nor did your bf so there's no connection other then what's associated....

during this fragile period however, you don't have to show much really... just say in your most apathetic voice "at least they're in a better place"...

sounds alot better then "oh, ok thanks for the info" :p

worked for me

thats kind of what i did. read this. Its text messages between me and my boyfriends brother:

Matt: U had a nice christmas
BA: Yeah it was great...we had a good time. We talked to ur dad. Lori's mom died on New Years.
Matt: YA i no that so sad
BA:Yeah. But what ya gonna do? They said she was really sick and knew she was going to die for a long time. At least shes in a better place.
Matt: Ya but still
BA: hard to be too sad about it considering i didn't know her
Matt: Will it be sad if ur mom die cum on now
BA: Sure but thats my mom. I don't know her mom. I barely know her. Its tough but people die every day every minute. No one feels bad for them.
Matt: God ur mean
BA: Yes...mean BA. We told them to call us if they needed anything..but for real, whats up?
Matt: ur fn attude

and i just left it at that. maybe i was a little harsh? I don't know. Maybe he misunderstood the "what ya gonna do" part. Its something my family says and have always sad to bad news.

ilovemusictoo · Post by **ilovemusictoo** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:31 am

lack of tact by the op anyone?

LesterG · Post by **LesterG** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:35 am

nobackspacebutton wrote:
LesterG wrote:BA

this is what you do in those situations

It's understandable to feel more apathetic if you have to see a person that's close to that person looking all miserable and depressed...

but in your case, like you said, you don't know nor did your bf so there's no connection other then what's associated....

during this fragile period however, you don't have to show much really... just say in your most apathetic voice "at least they're in a better place"...

sounds alot better then "oh, ok thanks for the info" :p

worked for me

thats kind of what i did. read this. Its text messages between me and my boyfriends brother:

Matt: U had a nice christmas
BA: Yeah it was great...we had a good time. We talked to ur dad. Lori's mom died on New Years.
Matt: YA i no that so sad
BA:Yeah. But what ya gonna do? They said she was really sick and knew she was going to die for a long time. At least shes in a better place.
Matt: Ya but still
BA: hard to be too sad about it considering i didn't know her
Matt: Will it be sad if ur mom die cum on now
BA: Sure but thats my mom. I don't know her mom. I barely know her. Its tough but people die every day every minute. No one feels bad for them.
Matt: God ur mean
BA: Yes...mean BA. We told them to call us if they needed anything..but for real, whats up?
Matt: ur fn attude

and i just left it at that. maybe i was a little harsh? I don't know. Maybe he misunderstood the "what ya gonna do" part. Its something my family says and have always sad to bad news.

you should've ended it at the she's in the better place part

Kasdeja · Post by **Kasdeja** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:43 am

Yeah...when someone is sad they take things more to heart. It's not your fault since you didn't mean to upset anyone...but sometimes just a little understanding that some people get a bit touchy when they are upest, etc.

LesterG · Post by **LesterG** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:57 am

Kasdeja wrote:Yeah...when someone is sad they take things more to heart. It's not your fault since you didn't mean to upset anyone...but sometimes just a little understanding that some people get a bit touchy when they are upest, etc.

bingo

nobackspacebutton · Post by **nobackspacebutton** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:58 am

yeah, i'm nuts.

and kinda mean.

it was just weird because he didn't know her anymore than i did.

So i didn't know to be gentle on the subject.

No need to ream me for it though.

Kasdeja · Post by **Kasdeja** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:00 am

Ah, he didn't know her, either? Some people are just weird about death. I just try to stay respectful and once someone gets "their ass in the air", as my dad puts it, I just drop it usually because it seems like nothing yousay makes it better.

nobackspacebutton · Post by **nobackspacebutton** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:01 am

definately.

and the next day, these people were all normal about it. wth, right?

LesterG · Post by **LesterG** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:14 am

nobackspacebutton wrote:yeah, i'm nuts.

and kinda mean.

it was just weird because he didn't know her anymore than i did.

So i didn't know to be gentle on the subject.

No need to ream me for it though.

not trying to ream ya, cutie...well... anyway

I believe he was giving you shit, just cause he is in that sensitive state... basically he's taking things way out of proportion... what he's hearing is... prolly some wrong stuff that he will eventually apologize for later after thinking how HE had acted

nobackspacebutton · Post by **nobackspacebutton** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:15 am

LesterG wrote:
nobackspacebutton wrote:yeah, i'm nuts.

and kinda mean.

it was just weird because he didn't know her anymore than i did.

So i didn't know to be gentle on the subject.

No need to ream me for it though.
not trying to ream ya, cutie...well... anyway

I believe he was giving you shit, just cause he is in that sensitive state... basically he's taking things way out of proportion... what he's hearing is... prolly some wrong stuff that he will eventually apologize for later after thinking how HE had acted

nah they were reaming me about it, not you guys. you guys are too nice and understanding. lol =P

yeah, but i guess i wasn't prepared for his 'sensitive state' lol.