Killthesmiley wrote:lvoe everyone who have been supportive of this thread and my depressing depressing realization last night.
it was hard for me to get dressed this morning. i looked at all my clothes and thought...."will anything actually fit me." it hurts a lot, like to be a point of ridicule to people and to be a person to harrass. it hurts a lot. so when situations arise (such as the above one with hor) it do jump the gun, get heated and take a lot of things personally, even though i probably should have laughed them off.
you know ... comments like "how the hell can you eat 8 hamburgers? I can't even eat that in a month" to me, in this state of mind, and to anyone in this state of mind is rude and uncalled for.
its unfair how people don't understand its like walking on eggshells and trying to no break them. It hurts. mentally and physically for me. Someone makes a comment like that, and i get physically sick.
yea i might be sensative, but thats because right now, i'm in a touchy situation mentally. and you would figure people would realize seeing i posted about how much i cried and how depressing this was to me, that people would be sensative to that fact.
I appreciate everyone what have been suportive. It helps. it really does. it's encouraging. I'm going to get ahold of this. It's hard to break from pregnancy eating habits. But i'm going to do it.
wow, let me applaud you for adding "hell" in my comment. it helps make it seem a bitch harsher than it originally was. i should've added hell when i first typed it. darn, missed opportunities.
kill, i'm not trying to say that your feelings mean less than anyone elses. that i've never felt that way before. because i've been where you're at, minus the stripper pole. but i didn't put it on a public forum for the world to see. you think you're the only one going through a hard time right now? guess again. maybe if you knew me, you'd realize that my problem right now has nothing to do with me not being able to fit into lingerie and swing around on a stripper pole. its a whole lot more.
i wouldn't and don't expect anyone to treat me any differently than before. its not my right to ask people to change themselves so that it better suits me and my mental state. and i don't think you should either.
you can't blame me for how you feel about yourself. the only person you can hold accountable is you. if you don't love yourself, don't try and place the blame on something else. live it. own it. realize it. change it.
well, those are my 2 cents.
*goes back to the IRC*
if i speak, i am condemned.
if i am silent, i am damned.
who am i?
)
