Would I be a doormat?

Kasdeja · Post by **Kasdeja** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:01 pm

I've recently come back into contact with some gals that I was very close with in school. One, we've jumped right back as if we had never lost touch. I love it. The other...she keeps making plans with us, saying she'll call...and never does. Then, the next week or two, she'll initiate plans again...and not come. Now, this past weekend we were supposed to meet up for coffee, etc. at my house. I made homemade biscotti. I'm an excellent baker, I must say...and these biscotti were heavenly. She...didn't call...didnt' show up. I'm a bit peeved. I mean, I'm willing to get in touch...but, it's like I don't understand why she makes plans if she doesnt' really want to meet up, ya know? It would be different if it weren't her initiating these plans. I initiated them the first couple of times but gave up, decided if she wanted to get together to let her say something. She does, but it's still the same. Now, today I have a message saying that she had some emergency things with the house she is building that couldn't be avoided. I understand, I do...it's just...it's always something. I spent time and money making different kinds of biscotti for this weekend...and it didn't happen. I can't keep doing this, I'm not exactly made of money and I don't need too much junk food laying around. She's apologizing and I dont' want to be a jerk...but then again I am sick of this. What do I do? It's often hard for me to not be blunt...but I don't want to revert to my doormat ways...

colbertnationgirl · Post by **colbertnationgirl** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:15 pm

I'ld say call her a day or two before you are supposed to get together as a little 'friendly reminder.' If she still doesn't show up, just don't bother. The friendship isn't worth it if she isn't willing to make an effort. I mean if she is busy or something came up, she could at least call.*cough* So do you still have any of that biscotti around?

Ziola · Post by **Ziola** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:18 pm

*runs in*

I heard there was biscotti here....

*out of breath...its a long way from GTKEO to here*

And Kas...next time she initiates getting together, mention going to her house. She can't very well blow you off if you are going to her home.

Kasdeja · Post by **Kasdeja** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:28 pm

Thanks, guys. Yeah, this time I had the reminder to her on Friday before I left work. She's offering to have it at her house...but she's done it before. I'm leaning towards CNG's attitude...if she'd at least called...

Now...I made almond biscotti dipped in Dove chocolate, cinnamon sugar biscotti with green sugar sprinkles and white chocolate drizzle and double chocolate biscotti also with white chocolate drizzles. These...these look like professional. I'm proud of myself.

djmadscribbler · Post by **djmadscribbler** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:30 pm

It seems to me you have to evaluate how much your time is worth to you. Do you like this gal enough to put up with this behavior? Is she worth the time investment and also the frustration? If you think so then at least you know what your getting into (lots of broken plans probably

) And if not, then just don't waste your time with her.

But then again, maybe I'm too blunt as well

Ziola · Post by **Ziola** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:34 pm

I don't think so, DJ. Maybe its because I'm a bitch, but I hate when people blow me off... It drives me absolutely bonkers and I don't bother wasting time on people after that. Then can call my phone a million times a day....I won't answer.

Kasdeja · Post by **Kasdeja** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:35 pm

See, that's my problem. I don't mind chatting via internet with her at all...but if she's going to keep making plans and breaking them...I guess I just don't know how to respond to her in a way that won't piss her off. I probably shouldn't care about pissing her off since I got pretty pissed this weekend...but...I dunno. I usually piss people off the way I phrase things...when I don't mean to.

Kasdeja · Post by **Kasdeja** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:36 pm

I do wish I had a camera...I'd be posting pictures of my baked goods...oh god..I'm a dork...

colbertnationgirl · Post by **colbertnationgirl** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:36 pm

Kasdeja wrote:Now...I made almond biscotti dipped in Dove chocolate, cinnamon sugar biscotti with green sugar sprinkles and white chocolate drizzle and double chocolate biscotti also with white chocolate drizzles. These...these look like professional. I'm proud of myself.

Kas, you are my new hero!!

Kasdeja · Post by **Kasdeja** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:36 pm

If I could send them through the internets...I would!

colbertnationgirl · Post by **colbertnationgirl** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:39 pm

Kasdeja wrote:See, that's my problem. I don't mind chatting via internet with her at all...but if she's going to keep making plans and breaking them...I guess I just don't know how to respond to her in a way that won't piss her off. I probably shouldn't care about pissing her off since I got pretty pissed this weekend...but...I dunno. I usually piss people off the way I phrase things...when I don't mean to.

Just tell her that you have a busy schedual as well and you don't want to make plans if she won't come. And please please please post pictures!!

colbertnationgirl · Post by **colbertnationgirl** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:40 pm

Kasdeja wrote:If I could send them through the internets...I would!

Why haven't they invented teleporters yet!!

Ziola · Post by **Ziola** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:42 pm

Kasdeja wrote:If I could send them through the internets...I would!

Duh...put them in the slot under the drink holder...

Kasdeja · Post by **Kasdeja** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:42 pm

Oh yeah!

Sheikh Gomelez · Post by **Sheikh Gomelez** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 2:09 pm

colbertnationgirl wrote:I'ld say call her a day or two before you are supposed to get together as a little 'friendly reminder.' If she still doesn't show up, just don't bother. The friendship isn't worth it if she isn't willing to make an effort.

What she said.