Little known facts about Gemma's hot-nisity

Gemma's tool · Post by **Gemma's tool** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:14 pm

Those living near Gemma, especially young children and the elderly, are encouraged to limit their exposure and stay indoors when possible.

It was long thought that one could find a picture of Gemma beside the definition of hot in many dictionaries. These claims are of course patently absurd - it is widely known that even a picture of Gemma is capable of igniting paper, and there are no dictionaries printed upon paper made from asbestos pulp or similar less-flammable materials.

Salsa at restaurants and grocers everywhere is now available in three varieties - mild, medium and Gemma.

It is wise to wear only natural fibers (if anything) in Gemma's presence. When engulfed in flame, synthetics tend to leave an unpleasant odor and bond to skin.

Growing up, as the extent of her hotness became increasingly apparent, Gemma was affectionately called "Kelvin" by family and friends alike.

Using only the considerable heat generated by her body, Gemma once saved a man from death by hypothermia - entirely unbeknown to her and from a distance of over three miles.

Al Gore's second feature-length documentary, "A Smoking Hot Truth," examines controversial evidence linking Gemma to rapid melting of the polar ice caps.

Gemma has never seen snow, nor ice. Both are as mysterious to her as her impossibly full lips are to you and me.

Mirage · Post by **Mirage** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:21 pm

Al Gore's second feature-length documentary, "A Smoking Hot Truth," examines controversial evidence linking Gemma to rapid melting of the polar ice caps.

*rolls*

saralynn · Post by **saralynn** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 6:14 pm

Cute post, and somewhat sad because the comment about Al Gore is accurate enough -- that if he reads it -- he might actually do it.

It took me a minute to get the Kelvin joke too.

It's been too long since science class!

cup o' noodles · Post by **cup o' noodles** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 9:10 pm

this is officially my favorite post on this website! congratu-f*ckin'-lations! you rock!

katz31 · Post by **katz31** » Thu Nov 02, 2006 5:40 pm

What about "Gemma is personally responsible for global warming."

Not that I think that personally.

Anyway, this reminds me of the Chuck Norris jokes.

weetziebat05 · Post by **weetziebat05** » Thu Nov 02, 2006 6:00 pm

lol same here....

GoodGollyItsHolly · Post by **GoodGollyItsHolly** » Thu Nov 02, 2006 6:18 pm

LOVING this!!

Languorous Lass · Post by **Languorous Lass** » Thu Nov 02, 2006 6:51 pm

saralynn wrote:Cute post, and somewhat sad because the comment about Al Gore is accurate enough -- that if he reads it -- he might actually do it.

Aw, do we really have to bring politics into this discussion? I come to this forum to get away from The Real World. I thought the post was funny, too, but there's no need to disrespect Al in order to appreciate what Gemma's Tool posted.

Max · Post by **Max** » Tue Nov 14, 2006 12:22 am

When Gemma walks into water she doesnt get wet. The water gets Gemma. Chuck Norris is great, Gemma, well Amazing. =]

Mr. Roboto · Post by **Mr. Roboto** » Tue Nov 14, 2006 12:32 am

Haha, brilliant.

CriticalThinking · Post by **CriticalThinking** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 4:04 pm

Lord Balto · Post by **Lord Balto** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 6:36 pm

Salsa at restaurants and grocers everywhere is now available in three varieties - mild, medium and Gemma.

Not to mention sushi restaurants, thus explaining the poisoning of former Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko at a sushi joint in London. The British authorities have actually misidentified Gemmonium 216 as Polonium 210.

Beware, The Order is even more powerful than the Illuminati and we are ALL in imminent danger.

kageyuki · Post by **kageyuki** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 7:07 pm

Lord Balto wrote:
Salsa at restaurants and grocers everywhere is now available in three varieties - mild, medium and Gemma.
Not to mention sushi restaurants, thus explaining the poisoning of former Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko at a sushi joint in London...

*confused* Huh? What did Alexander Litvinenko at a sushi restaurant in London have to do with this... or with salsa?? Salsa doesn't go with sushi...

Lord Balto · Post by **Lord Balto** » Tue Dec 12, 2006 5:57 am

Just being funny/ironic. Sorry if I missed the mark.

stuart2004 · Post by **stuart2004** » Tue Dec 12, 2006 8:00 am

I used to be all like "A PI IS HEAVEN" but now due to gemma I am all like "DONT A PI IS HEAVEN"