Lonelygirl15

If the mods do start intervening more, I am not sure it will be a good thing, as there is no way to guarantee true consistency.

All input is appreciated and considered. Thank you.

itsreallyreal wrote: There are some ways to avoid conflict like this...

1) Just not say things that could offend peolpe. It is a PERSONAL choice to do so. No one is saying anyone else can not speak their mind but if you KNOW that there is a bit of a shrp edge to your statement you may want to reconsider posting it...

2) Once someone has been offended... Apologize. It doesn;t make you any less of a person to say sorry. Nor does it nullify your point. Something like, "Sorry if that offended you. I wasn;t out to yupset anyone." could avoid the ENTIRE thing... and I know others may overreact in response but sometimes it's OK to let that go right?

3) If it was a joke in the first place and others take it too seriously... Why not just apologize and realize that it is no big deal. In most cases it says ALLOT more about the person freaking out that it says about you any how...

THIS is what "Self Moderation" means... But if you go out of your way to do things like personally attack the person (EVEN if they are personally attackign you...) or resort to namecalling and ranting on and on and not getting anywhere then you are not making a REAL attemp to solve the issue... You are trying to "Win"

All any of us have to do is give up the need to "Win" and be right and things could be MUCH nicer around here...

PS - Notice I am not making any personal attacks or trying to change anyone mind abou tthe actual issue itself

Kasdeja wrote:I don't think many are really asking for more or sterner moderation...the concensus has centered on consisten moderation.

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All input is appreciated and considered. Thank you.

Luminous wrote:

itsreallyreal wrote: There are some ways to avoid conflict like this...

These are all really excellent points. Thank you.

bethy wrote:

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I'm totally with kelly on this. It would be nice to hear something constructive on this...and something more than a generic:

All input is appreciated and considered. Thank you.

I mean this with utmost respect here. If anything that kind of statement comes off as a brush off to people, and that's the kind of thing people say when they don't really want to acknowledge an issue or have no intentions of doing anything about it.

I should know...I've said it many a time to annoying clients who don't have a clue what they're talking about. Sure, I read their comments, and I consider them longenough to laugh at them.

Of course...you'd laugh too if a software publisher suggested the cover of their manual read:

"The Fucking Manual. Read it."

Granted...RTFM is a common phrase in my industry, but it's not professional and it's not ever going to end up on the cover of one of my docs. (BTW...that was a very serious suggestion and I had to fight the publisher to avoid it. I almost lost the account entirely because I refused to my name on that project...even though it was quite funny.)

Macabea13 wrote:Finally, one of the things I try to remember while here is sheer diversity of this forum. We have a lot of different communication styles, and many different ages represented here, which can create part of the drama; diplomacy was something I learned well after high school, and while I was in college I challenged eveything, when I had kids I started talking to everyone as if I were their mom. Never once did I think that I was wrong in doing so, nor did I think there was any reason not to be like that. Since there can be so much variation in one person, I see no reason why we can't expect it here.

I believe, (and correct me if I'm wrong BK) that the intent is to go to the mod board, hash it out and return with the guidelines.

Luminous wrote:

Macabea13 wrote:Finally, one of the things I try to remember while here is sheer diversity of this forum. We have a lot of different communication styles, and many different ages represented here, which can create part of the drama; diplomacy was something I learned well after high school, and while I was in college I challenged eveything, when I had kids I started talking to everyone as if I were their mom. Never once did I think that I was wrong in doing so, nor did I think there was any reason not to be like that. Since there can be so much variation in one person, I see no reason why we can't expect it here.

I can't remember who said it or where, but someone mentioned that there are different neigborhoods here. I think this is really true. And they each have their own culture. For example some neighborhoods have very sarcastic wit, others are insulted by it, and of course then there's pervy town .

I'm not quite sure how to make my point so it can be understood here, but I think it is important recognize that these neighborhoods exist. Know that if you walk into an OpAphid neighborhood in the middle of a drop and do something stupid you're going to get landed on. Likewise, if you go into the LG15 community and start talking anti-meep this is not going to go over well. Because of this I think it's hard, and maybe not even a good idea to create blanket rules that go across the board. It seems that each community's standards are self emerging. What might be helpful is if these emerging don't try to impose their standards across the board on everyone.

From the perspective of moderating, create consistency within a "hood" as much as possible, but don't necessarily try to apply equal standards across the board.

Does this make any sense to anyone?