Languorous Lass wrote:
How were you able to bring yourself to talk to him again? Was it because it seemed like he was genuinely remorseful?
I got an email from him one day. He had googled me, found my business and sent me an email at my business account. I didn't reply for almost a week because I wanted to get my thoughts in order.
And then, I let him have it. I told him how pissed off I was, how selfish and inconsiderate he was, and how helpless he left us all feeling. He had been in a coma for almost 3 months after the accident and I told him that there were actually days that I prayed he would die because he was such a nice person and learning what he did would just break his heart.
I told him that I had a really hard time coming to terms with the fact that, as much as I loved him, I had lost all respect for him. And he took it, like a man. He didn't make any excuses for his actions, just apologized and told me that when and if I was ready to try and repair our friendship, he would be there.
Him and Jay still haven't spoken about the whole thing. I wish they would, it would make Jay feel better. He hasn't resolved his issues with Kevin yet and not being a part of each others lives really effects both of them.
It was a long process for me and Kevin was really helpful through all of it. He admits he was in the wrong, he takes responsibility for his actions and I can respect him for that.
It's official!! I'm getting married September 28, 2007!!
Ziola... you seem to work like I do. I am much more willing to move past something if the person who screwed up will own up to what they did. There are people I won't talk to for the sole reason that they cannot admit that they screwed up. All it takes for me to move on is to hear, "Yes, I made a mistake. I screwed up!" It annoys the hell out of me when people refuse to acknowlegde what they have done and take responsibility for their actions.
I Lurker!! He is my King. I bow to no other.
You other girls better back it up! He is mine! Just ask him!!
Mirage wrote:Aww, honey! Here's something to fill that pervy superhero gap in your heart:
I need one of those.
Kasdeja wrote:I didn't know if I should post this here or with the other dresses in the other thread...
Dear god. Is that her actual belly, or is it a plastic fake like the butt on the dog from a few pages back?
Ziola wrote:I told him how pissed off I was, how selfish and inconsiderate he was, and how helpless he left us all feeling. He had been in a coma for almost 3 months after the accident and I told him that there were actually days that I prayed he would die because he was such a nice person and learning what he did would just break his heart.
I told him that I had a really hard time coming to terms with the fact that, as much as I loved him, I had lost all respect for him. And he took it, like a man. He didn't make any excuses for his actions, just apologized and told me that when and if I was ready to try and repair our friendship, he would be there. . . .It was a long process for me and Kevin was really helpful through all of it. He admits he was in the wrong, he takes responsibility for his actions and I can respect him for that.
Wow. I got tears in my eyes reading this description.
The guy's got some guts. I was about to say "Good for him," but it's not really an appropriate comment in this situation. Still, I have to have respect for him (especially given the contrast between his behavior and the behavior of the mealy-mouthed chickenshit killer I had to listen to the other day).
Ziola wrote:Him and Jay still haven't spoken about the whole thing. I wish they would, it would make Jay feel better. He hasn't resolved his issues with Kevin yet and not being a part of each others lives really effects both of them.
I know what you mean.
My niece Kathy's now-husband, Jimmy, lost his best friend in the World Trade Center. The guy had been married for only six months. Kathy and Jimmy and WTC Guy and his wife had been part of a crew of really nice folks who all hung out together. When WTC Guy died, the whole group was, as you can imagine, devastated. But Jimmy took it especially hard.
WTC Guy's widow -- imagine being married for six months and then having your husband killed like that! In your late twenties! -- ended up getting involved with one of the other guys in the small group of friends. This happened within a few months of 9/11. I could understand it; when your life is smashed to pieces, it helps to find someone else to hold onto.
But Jimmy couldn't forgive either WTC Guy's widow or the guy she got involved with. It's been over five years and he still can't, or won't, speak to either of them.
Jimmy and Kathy themselves got involved with each other in the aftermath of 9/11, when Kathy was there for Jimmy in his pain. When they got married, WTC Guy's mother did one of the scriptural readings at the wedding, and the first toast at the reception was to WTC Guy.
Although Widow and the guy she hooked up with weren't invited to the wedding, on the morning of the wedding day Widow sent a pair of WTC Guy's cufflinks over for Jimmy to wear. He wore them, of course. But he still was not willing to speak to her.
It's so sad. The whole thing has shattered the group of friends that used to be so close. I really wish Jimmy could find it in his heart to forgive.
I'm sorry -- I wandered off into my own thoughts. The point I wanted to make was that the inability to forgive can do a great deal of damage in and of itself.
Wow...that's really sad about Jimmy and the WTC widow. I really don't know what to say about it. It makes me a little angry, to be honest. Like, I sort of want to kick Jimmy in the shins and tell him to stop being an ass...that they are the holders of the same memories and should be sharing them, not withholding them from each other.
And Kevin really is a good guy, he was just a complete moron one night and he got what he deserved. He travels to high schools and colleges now and speaks about his life and how it changed because of a decision he made. He has actually gotten in lots of trouble with the state transportation board because he doesn't mince words and he started discussing how he went to the bathroom and how he would never have sex again because one of the male students asked about it. I am constantly getting emails from him, venting about how this bureaucrat or another has gotten offended and threatened him. Its pretty funny actually, since he's pretty much a sitting duck.
It's official!! I'm getting married September 28, 2007!!
Well, because he must have known that I was talking about him, I got and email from Kevin this morning...I thought I'd let you read it so you could understand what it is about his personality that makes me love him, despite all his mistakes.
OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!! I was sent this following email today by my cousin. It ment so much to me it made me cry happy tears. Ever since I have been divorced and trying to accept my disability, and the fact I took another man's life. I live by this theory and thoughts and feelings each and every day. You all can't believe how much this really hit home to me, and how true it is. I have accepted my divorce and disability in full by living by this theory and thoughts and feelings. I am hoping to make a difference in someone's life and accept the fact that I took another mans life, which I can't do yet to this day. I am working on it and this email made me cry like a baby. I truely believe and feel the same way that this message is brought across by this 92 year old sweetheart. I have told most of you this already, and include this in my speaking engagements, but I will tell you again from the bottom of my heart. I have two choices to make each and every morning. I can choose to be in a good mood, or I can choose to let my past and troubles consume me and be in a bad mood. Well, the first thing I do every morning is thank God I am alive, and choose to be in a good mood. Then I take it one step further and think constantly about Klaus Grenz, and how I can make his life mean something. Klaus is with me each and every day, and guides me to stay motivated and postive and by sharing my own personal life and story and "the cost" of my DUI to everybody and anybody that will listen. I know that someday, somewhere, because of the two of us, someone will make a better choice that I did, and a life will be saved because of us leading by example. I have many upcoming speaking engagements lined up, starting in May. I had taken the winter off for safety reasons. I have completed my community service hours, and am still speaking across the state, (and now possibly New England), because it is HUGE theapy for me to help me calm down the anger and animosity I hold towards myself, knowing and praying that someday I WILL make a difference in someone's life, and by sharing my own life with others as an open book, Between Klaus and I, we WILL save a life, and I will never know that I did while I am alive, God will tell me about it when I see him many years into the future. There are still nights when I cry myself to sleep thinking about Klaus and how I took his life, and the consequences I live with each and every day because of it, both emotionally and physically, but when I wake up in the morning, I thank God for giving me the chance to not only learn from my mistake, but thank him for giving me the chance to share my mistake with others, and get excited and happy knowing Klaus is with me when I tell others about it, and we provide a living, powerful example to others, to set a file somewhere in the back of thier mind, that WILL be read at somepoint in thier life, to stop them from making the same mistake I did. I am not out to change the world, I am set out to change one person's decision, that is my goal for life, I am going to die trying, and do everything I can between now and then to make it happen. I feel strongly in my heart that If I was to meet myself as I am today, 5 years ago, I wouldn't of made the terrible decision to drive home on December 13th, 2004. I am having an OUTSTANDING day today, and am excited as all heck that I have many speaking engagements lining up, (I have dates for a few of em already), and media events lined up (Concord Monitor is running an article, interview next week). I KNOW that I WILL make a difference, because......... If you think you can, or think you can't, your right. I think and KNOW I can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am actually passing this along to EVERYBODY on my address list. Because Yahoo can't send to 300 address at the same time, I will send this message to myself, and then forward it to grougps of 20. Thank you so much Amanda for this positive, motivating piece, Kevin
Positive Mental Attitude!!
We can all learn a lesson from this great old girl!
The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is
Fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably
Coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally
Blind, moved to a nursing home today.
Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move
Necessary.
After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready.
As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a
Visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that
Had been hung on her window.
"I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old
Having just been presented with a new puppy
"Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room just wait."
"That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied.
"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like
My room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged... it's
How I arrange my mind.
I already decided to love it "It's a decision I make every morning
When I wake up. I have a choice. I can spend the day in bed recounting
The difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work,
Or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open ! I'll focus on the
New day and all the happy memories I've stored away just for this
Time in my life.
Old age is like a bank account you withdraw from what you've put in.
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the
Bank account of memories.
Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less
It's official!! I'm getting married September 28, 2007!!
Lurker!! He is my King. 
I bow to no other.
And you know how I feel about that god damn fruit.