To Phone or Not To Phone?

Luv2Skydive · Post by **Luv2Skydive** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 2:36 am

So my just-turned-11 son got his first "girl" calls today. One saying something like this:

"Hi, it's Lexi....call Kaitlyn back at ***-****. I have a really important question to ask you about one of......"

2nd call:

"Hi, it's your secret admirer. Call me back at ***-****. Love ya! Bye!"

So I answered the third call and it was Kaitlyn. I told her I'd have him call her back but he was gone.....which he really was. She seemed very nice and didn't seem all giggly.

So I just wanted to take a poll on how best to handle this. I remember me in the 5th grade and I was alreaady boy-crazy!

trainer101 · Post by **trainer101** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 2:51 am

I chose the "Break their hearts" option. Because it let's him know that you're aware yet keeps the situation light-hearted. Don't let him enter his teen years feeling like he has to hide things. Letting your sense of humor show will help keep you "in the loop" in the long term. (Gotta trust me on this one)

kellylen · Post by **kellylen** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 3:04 am

tell him hes too young! lol

my sister is 13 and just got asked out by a boy and I keep telling her boys are evil

just from my history with them lol. she doesnt believe me or my mom or my other sister.

i dont know I just find 13, or in your case 11 too young to be dating

Absynth · Post by **Absynth** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 4:35 am

i voted the first option although there is a big BUT...

there are so many scenarios that could emerge, and giving us the lasst option makes me assume you allowed him to call her or went through the parents to arrange the movie trip. so if that happens you or one of her parents should by all means go along.

also dont forget to give her parents a call (your kid may hate you for it, i hated my mom when she called my first gf) and let them know what is going on, that their daughter likes your son, etc... a boy of 11 is at a delicate stage so this has to be handled with care.

generally these things fizzle out because of hte childrens lack of communication skills or petty arguments, but i had my first kiss at 11 so you need to definately keep your eyes open.

im sure you can handle things perfectly, jitters are completely normal.
but my main advice to you is this:

and im sorry for putting it in caps but i cant stress it enough...

GO WITH YOUR BEST FEELING. AND BY ALL MEANS DONT LET US WHACKOS INFLUENCE YOUR DECISION.

spaciegirlreturn · Post by **spaciegirlreturn** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 8:07 am

I'm with trainer

Killthesmiley · Post by **Killthesmiley** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 10:24 am

invite them to the movies, but sit like three rows behind them with one of your friends,
so its a supervised date, but it makes them feel like they are alone.

Luv2Skydive · Post by **Luv2Skydive** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 2:16 pm

Thanks everyone! I agree and appreciate everyone's advice! This is new territory for me and I was definitely not a nice girl so don't want to go completely the other way and shelter him too much.

So basically I was just nonchalant about it and told him Kaitlyn and Lexi called and asked who they were. He was cautiously informative, if that makes sense? I could tell he was gauging my questions on a "nosy mom" scale and I think I passed. He said she was at his basketball game yesterday. I forgot to ask how she got our number.....I'll wait on that one as I think I reached my question limit for the day.

Anyway, I found the number in my call history and gave it to him and he walked back to his room and then came back saying no one answered and it wouldn't let him leave a voicemail so I found a different number, which he called and talked to a mother who said Kaitlyn was at Lexi's house and that she lost her cell phone. Wow...cell phone. Is it time for that already???

Ok, not gonna freak out......just breathe and get through the next 7 years and he'll be a normal, well-balanced adult....right?

Luv2Skydive · Post by **Luv2Skydive** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 2:18 pm

trainer101 wrote:I chose the "Break their hearts" option. Because it let's him know that you're aware yet keeps the situation light-hearted. Don't let him enter his teen years feeling like he has to hide things. Letting your sense of humor show will help keep you "in the loop" in the long term. (Gotta trust me on this one)

I trust ya and am going with this approach. I was talking about it with my husband and we both agreed that we did not want to be like our families and tease him or hound him because we both shut down and I want to avoid that at all costs!

Luv2Skydive · Post by **Luv2Skydive** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 2:21 pm

Absynth wrote:i voted the first option although there is a big BUT...

there are so many scenarios that could emerge, and giving us the lasst option makes me assume you allowed him to call her or went through the parents to arrange the movie trip. so if that happens you or one of her parents should by all means go along.

also dont forget to give her parents a call (your kid may hate you for it, i hated my mom when she called my first gf) and let them know what is going on, that their daughter likes your son, etc... a boy of 11 is at a delicate stage so this has to be handled with care.

generally these things fizzle out because of hte childrens lack of communication skills or petty arguments, but i had my first kiss at 11 so you need to definately keep your eyes open.

im sure you can handle things perfectly, jitters are completely normal.
but my main advice to you is this:

and im sorry for putting it in caps but i cant stress it enough...

GO WITH YOUR BEST FEELING. AND BY ALL MEANS DONT LET US WHACKOS INFLUENCE YOUR DECISION.

Great idea about calling the parent...it, among other things, let's my son know I am in the loop.

spaciegirlreturn · Post by **spaciegirlreturn** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 2:36 pm

Dear god...I got my first cell phone when I was like 20! (Of course...if I would have gotten one when I was 11, it would have been that giant grey brick thing that was a bizzillion dollars...but still!!)

You're a good mom, miss thing. My parents let me do whatever I wanted and never got involved too much in my..uh social life. BAD IDEA!

Luv2Skydive · Post by **Luv2Skydive** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 2:49 pm

My son isn't so thrilled with me right now.....Mr. Not-working-to-his-full-potential came home with 2 C's on his progress report so the PS3 is MIA for a few weeks.

My parents weren't involved either....as long as I brought home the grades I had total freedom, and in a small town where there's nothing to do, that's a bad thing.

Crooked Angel · Post by **Crooked Angel** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 9:01 pm

I don't know ,what makes you think they want to date?? I'm sure it's just silly girls wanting to talk on the phone with their crush.

Remember how much you used to talk on the phone. Or at slumber parties how you all got together around the phone and called a boy?

It's all just silly fun!! Maybe you are reading too much into it???? Just talk to him about it. He might still think girls are gross!!

islandlove · Post by **islandlove** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 12:02 am

he still may believe that girls have cooties,

you never know

smurfswim · Post by **smurfswim** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:54 am

I think you should have the sex talk. I know it seems early, but my little half-brother nearly got suspended from school after he was found making out with a girl when he was 11. Not only was he embarrassed, if someone didn't step in, he might have gotten the bad girl pregnant. Girls aren't responsible enough to handle birth control, etc. until much older, and I think kids are experimenting at young ages now.

Evan · Post by **Evan** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 9:11 am

Killthesmiley wrote:invite them to the movies, but sit like three rows behind them with one of your friends,
so its a supervised date, but it makes them feel like they are alone.

no...to embarrassing...i swear...

Lonelygirl15

To Phone or Not To Phone?

How should I handle my 11-year-old son and his first call from girls!

To Phone or Not To Phone?

i think